


But I've Been There Before

by marelicarter (padmefuckingamidala)



Series: The Little Red Thread Series [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Aunt May Dies, Depression, Everything is good, F/M, Flash just shows up to be a dick, I am so sorry, Minor Character Death, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Ned is a hella good wing-man, Okay but Aunt Peggy is iconic and we love her, Spideychelle, well it's angsty so maybe not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padmefuckingamidala/pseuds/marelicarter
Summary: Peter’s known MJ was his soulmate since freshman year. Life has just… gotten in the way. He’s afraid he isn’t the best soulmate.Or, Little Red Thread so far through Peter’s eyes.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Sharon Carter/Sam Wilson
Series: The Little Red Thread Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529174
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	But I've Been There Before

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something that focused on Peter, and then I was like, ya know what? I love Peter. So this reader-insert shows how much the reader loves Peter and becomes a very good aunt. Peter has a lot of good aunts looking out for him, and his adoptive parents love him, too. But he's sad. That's it, that's the piece.
> 
> And I'm already planning on part four. (This could be read as a filler for part 4 to make sense, I'm so sorry.)
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated! I crave validation, please, PLEASE!

Peter finds out MJ is his soulmate during freshman year. She slowly infiltrates his and Ned’s small circle--which was literally just them--and stays, no questions asked. They don’t mind, though. Peter likes MJ, Ned likes MJ, and in return MJ doesn’t hate either of them. They grow closer after a few months, and then, it happens.

Peter’s a ball of depression and anxiety. He handles it well and aunt May’s a great support system, and even whatever’s going on with Tony Stark is good for his mood. “It’s just an internship,” Peter mumbles, but Ned looks antsy and MJ knows they text. A grown man doesn’t text a teenager about their mental health if it’s just an internship. There may not have been hundreds of adults in Peter’s life, but the few he has really care about him. It didn’t mean he’s smart about it; he won’t tell people about bad days until it feels like his life is pulled right out from under him, and his reckless behavior on patrol--which not many people know about--is getting him hurt and landing him in the med bay. But this is different.

Sitting in class, Peter bites back tears and stares at the text alert on the Stark Watch. It’s new; Tony gave it to him as a gift though Peter tells people he’s just testing it out. There’s a text alert from May staring back at him until the screen goes dark, and he’s left looking at his tearful reflection. MJ shoots her hand up and says, “I need to go to the nurse, I feel dizzy. Can Peter take me?”

She had to, she thinks. Ned isn’t in school today, and the way Peter’s been acting, it’s bad timing. MJ likes her friend group, even if she feels that she wasn’t meant to have good friends, that she doesn’t deserve it. Peter’s seconds away from a breakdown and no one but her is noticing, so of course she’s going to do something.

“Parker,” the teacher called out, snapping him from dissociating, “help Michelle to the nurse’s office.”

MJ grabs his hand and pulls him out of the classroom before anyone can say something, but they don’t make it far before Peter chokes on a sob.

“Peter--”

MJ thinks she sees a flash of red, but she ignores it and pulls him into a hug. Or, rather, he forces her into a hug and realizes what he’s done, but MJ hugs back with all her might. They stand under the stairs and just hold one another, Peter babbling up a storm, until he finally calms down enough to whisper against her shoulder, “She only has six months to a year.”

MJ doesn’t know what to say at first, but she rubs his back awkwardly and appreciates the way he relaxes under her touch. “Who?” she asks finally.

“May.”

Oh.

Peter sniffles, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. It’s reassuring. “We can’t even afford the care,” Peter whispers. “I don’t think she’ll make it six months, but I know she wouldn’t want to be in the hospital and miserable while she dies, either. I know it’s selfish but I don’t want her to go, MJ, I… I really don’t want to see the only person I have left die.”

MJ shakes her head, adjusting her grip to hold him tighter. “We’ll figure it out, Peter. You’re brilliant, okay? You’ll figure it out, and I’m sure something good will come of it.”

Peter pulls away and goes to say something, but he stops. He takes a step back, mouth open, but it closes again. The tears swell up again. Shaking, he raises his hand, the one she held earlier, and sure as day, there’s a red thread wrapped around his pinky and knotted with a some-what lopsided bow.

Sure enough, the matching one is on MJ’s other hand, and she realizes it’s from when she pulled him out of the classroom. They can see each other’s red threads, and they know what that means.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter cries, covering his mouth and letting his shoulders slump forward again.

“What are you sorry for?”

“That it’s me.”

“What?”

“That it’s me,” he repeats, face twisted in pain, “I’m sorry that it’s me you’re stuck with.”

May pulls Peter out of school the following period and she’s crying, pulling Peter into a hug as soon as he steps foot into the office. MJ watches from the hall through the windows, at her sad soulmate as he hugs the woman he only has months left with. Her heart aches, and for once, she isn’t sure what she feels.

Peter says something, which has May glancing up at MJ through the window and responding with unknown words, nothing that MJ could hear or lipread. Peter looks up too and in the end nods, and May cries harder before ripping open the door and reaching out her hand. “Hi, Michelle,” she sniffles, “I-I’m May.”

She shakes her hand and tries to bite back her own tears. “You can call me MJ,” she says as calmly as she can, “all my friends do. And, well, my soulmate’s guardian should, too.”

A lot changes in the next two months. Peter’s internship is a lot more than she thinks, but she tries not to act suspicious when he invites MJ and Ned out to the tower with him. “May will be there, too,” Peter says quietly, “I wanted to have a family dinner. You guys don’t have to come, but--”

“We’ll be there, Parker,” Michelle tells him firmly. “I’m moving AcaDec practice as we speak.”

A man named Happy picks the three of them up from school and doesn’t seem as grumpy as usual. They slide into the backseat and he looks up with a soft expression to peak at them through the rearview mirror. “Hey, kid. How was your day? Gonna introduce me to your friends?”

They chat for a while, but when Peter falls silent again, Ned takes it upon himself to talk.

Dinner never happens because May dies as Pepper holds her hand and tells her not to worry, that Dr. Cho’s on her way. May doesn’t speak back, and she doesn’t know what to think about Peter being alone before she can talk to him about custody agreements. She wishes she told Peter earlier that the cancer spread to her brain, and that she decided to decline treatment when the odds were so low anyways, and that she quit her job two weeks ago after Tony begged her to let them take care of them.

“Sign the damn papers,” May had told him, shaking as she stood in front of his desk. They were waiting for Pepper to get up here, to make it official, a joint conversation for the sake of Peter. “We can wait for Pepper, but I’m not quitting until you sign them.”

Tony signed the papers and when Pepper walked through the door, he handed her the pen and asked her softly to sign them too.

“I’ll tell them I’m done, effective immediately,” May murmured. “Thank you. I’m sorry if I forced him on you, I just want to make sure--”

“He’s always welcome here,” Tony cut her off.

Pepper nodded. “I don’t like that it’s under these circumstances, but May, we love Peter as our own, and we’re happy to have him.”

But Peter never knows, because as soon as he steps into the tower, FRIDAY ushers the trio up to the medbay, where Pepper’s sobbing into Tony’s shoulder and Dr. Cho covers her mouth as she watches Peter slump through the door. He knows instantly. His last dinner as a family is a shattered idea, and he clutches MJ’s hand before he breaks down.

May’s funeral is a flash of black and gray with an odd feeling of red and pink. Noses and eyes are red from crying and breaking down, but there’s a warmth that follows him to matter what. MJ remains at his side no matter what. Wherever Peter goes, MJ goes, and everytime he tucks his head down to cry, he sees the little red thread around their pinkies before tears distort his vision.

He heals. MJ does, too.

He’s not the best soulmate. MJ thinks overwise.

Pepper gets pregnant. They have a baby. Peter’s a big brother but he doesn’t understand why the Starks want him around if he’s just a fuck-up. Why would they want a teenager that isn’t theirs when they just made their own, better baby? 

“Stark loves you,” MJ points out. “Stop being dumb, Parker.”

He makes a face, but MJ bites her lip. “Don’t overthink it,” she continues. “I’m serious. He loves you, and so does Pepper. You’re just as important as their new baby.”

“I just feel like an inconvenience.”

“You’re an inconvenience for another reason,” she tells him. “You’re too cute sometimes, ya know? Maybe that’s a threat. A baby could never be cuter than you.”

Peter blushes. “Would you stop saying shit like that? I’m not used to it.”

MJ grins in her newfound success. “Well, get used to it. But I will deny everything so keep it to yourself.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

Peter runs off after school one day. He dodges calls and uses what knowledge his aunt Natasha showed him about sneaking around, and it must work, because no one finds him for hours. The sun sets as he stares at May’s grave and thinks about what a shitty soulmate he’s been, and what a shitty son the Starks probably think he is. Tears have dried on his face but Peter makes no move to rub at them or wipe his dry eyes.

It’s another hour into dusk before he hears shoes move through grass and a soft breathing behind him. “It’s a horrible way to meet,” a woman says, “but I’m so glad I’ve found you, Peter.”

He turns, and from what little light that comes from a flashlight, he sees Peggy Carter, Captain America’s soulmate, standing behind him in casual wear, making her look a bit alien by his own standards. “Ma’am?” is all he can croak out. 

Peggy kneels beside him, and the flashlight goes out. He still doesn’t think it’s real. This Peggy has to be an illusion. She’s wearing jeans and a sweatshirt for fuck’s sake, this isn’t Agent Carter--Director Carter, more like. He realizes, though, it’s a different Peggy. It’s still very much Peggy Carter, but it’s not the agent, the director, or the hero. It’s a familial version, one that you can ask to pass the salad at the dinner table, or one that Tony Stark would call with personal stress, like a missing kid.

“Pepper’s worried about you,” she whispers. “She made Sam, Steve, and Sharon search the city limits. Nat’s not allowed to go because she’s breaking down about it, which is throwing everyone off. I think she asked Bucky to check a few places for you, but I think it pissed off his girlfriend.”

“I didn’t mean for Bucky to get in trouble,” Peter murmurs, and he means it. He may not know Sergeant Barnes very well, having only met him once or twice, but he knows Violet, his girlfriend, isn’t the nicest person ever. “I didn’t mean to ruin anyone’s day, honestly.”

“My day’s not ruined,” Peggy interjects. “I was worried, but now I got to meet you. Tony’s been holding it off forever. He didn’t want me to meet you until you were ready.”

“Ready for what?”

Peggy shrugs. “I think he meant it stress wise.”

Peter says nothing.

“You know,” Peggy continues, “Steve has a roast in the crock pot. It’s his ma’s recipe, but he’s modernized it. More spices and flavors now, thank heavens. Would you like to come over? I’ll tell him to add noodles. He makes very good homemade pasta. I think we would call it beef tips and noodles, but I don’t remember ever calling it that.”

Peter shakes his head at first, but then stops, locking his eyes on the fresh, clear “May Parker” on the stone in front of him. “I should probably get home…”

“If that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know if it is.”

“I’ll take you home after dessert,” Peggy tells him too. “I’ve grown accustomed to modern cheesecake. Steve’s making it.”

“He is?”

“He is now. If you want some. I’ll tell him to put strawberries on it, too.”

Strawberries? His mouth nearly waters at the mention of the fruit. They’re Peter’s favorite but Pepper’s allergic, so he hasn’t tried to ask for them once. He’s craving them like crazy, too. He wishes the thought of Pepper dying from her allergy keeps him from adding them to the list of eating any, just in case she comes to hug him after he finishes some.

Peter ends up going home with Peggy, but true to her word, she takes Peter back to the tower once their tummies have settled from dessert. There’s no one to greet him. He hears Morgan and Pepper from down the hall; Morgan’s babbling is stronger for a six-month-old but it’s cute. It’s a heavy reminder, too. He trails down the hall until he opens his door and pushes himself inside sadly, but that’s when Morgan’s voice grows louder.

Inside his room are his worried parents and a very eager Morgan, who reaches for him before he even sets his bookbag down. Pepper stands abruptly, leaving Tony with Morgan on the bed so she can rush to her other baby in the doorway and take him into her arms. “You shared the shit out of us,” Pepper gasps, keeping him close. “Thank God you’re okay. Are you? Okay? Is there anything you need from us? What can we do, what do you want?”

Peter snakes his arms around her, too, and buries his face in her shoulder. “Just stay right here for a minute,” he begs, and Pepper’s happy to oblige.

Sophomore year is different. He misses May every day but then, Peter meets Miss Y/N. She’s a bright young woman that comes into Midtown Tech to promote better mental health teachings with the help of her dog Marshmallow. Marshmallow is a fluffy, golden retriever that nuzzles Peter’s hands and legs whenever he’s around because Peter gets anxious and Marshmallow knows it. She’s seen it thousands of times, and knows that Peter checks every box. Miss Y/N is polite about it though, and for the most part, Peter is drawn towards her. She feels safe. She likes to talk to Peter and she lets him ramble on about things and brush everything aside when he feels like things got a bit personal.

“You can talk to me if you need it,” Miss Y/N tells him, packing up her belongings. “Do you see anyone regularly to talk?”

Peter shrugs. Tony has offered countless times to get him a therapist but he feels like he doesn’t need it. “Not really? I don’t think I want to. I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“Your pain is apparent,” Miss Y/N continues. “It’s… you’re young, Peter, and from the way you hold yourself, you’ve already experienced too much pain. I didn’t talk to anyone else until it was too late for me, and I found myself spiraling.”

“How do I know if I’ll spiral?” Peter glances outside to see MJ and Ned waiting at the door for him, ignoring the other students that walk by, eager to get out of school. He sees MJ tuck her hair back and catches sight of the red thread wrapped around her pinky. It’s her right hand, which is fitting, because it’s always her right hand that grabs his left.

Miss Y/N breaks his concentration when she clears her throat. “You don’t,” she murmurs, “but it’s never a bad thing to focus on your mental health instead of the what if’s. You have the support of the people around you, Peter. You’re very loved, and I think you should take this big step.”

“But what if they don’t support me?”

Miss Y/N’s smiling as she ruffles his hair. “I know you have at least two people that will. Don’t think about anyone else but yourself for right now.”

Peter waits up for Pepper to come home from business. Tony’s retired to his room with Morgan, who was fussy after dinner, but Peter isn’t sure if he can talk with him, despite everything happening. Maybe he needs a motherly smile right now, but he waits no matter how tired he gets. He’s scrambling to his feet as soon as he hears her heels clack against the floor; she appears and Peter wastes no time rushing in for a hug and a desperate conversation.

MJ and Ned begin to come over more. They’re his best friends, for fuck’s sake, of course the should! Pepper makes sure that Ned’s parents know, and she chats with MJ’s parents happily but they don’t seem to care much. “She knows her curfew,” Mrs. Jones says. “I trust her.” And after a formal goodbye, she turns back to her work. Pepper makes them each a guest room for emergencies and she decides to be the cool, responsible mom, which wins Mrs. Leeds over. She’s fun, but she won’t take any crap from the kids, not that there’s much to begin with. They spend spring break at the tower and act like dorks for the long weekend, but it’s respectable fun.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Pepper says, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

Miserable. Stuck. Depressed. “Fine,” he decides, and hugs her back. “Gotta go! See you for dinner!”

Time passes and everything’s okay. He’s fine, right? MJ nudges Peter’s feet and looks up at him from the floor as Ned rounds the corner for the bathroom. “Hey,” she whispers.

“Hey,” he whispers back.

“Can I kiss you?”

Peter flushes. “Huh?”

“Gimme your hand.”

Peter does as he’s told and gives her his left hand, the one that’s threaded, and watches slowly as she kisses the palm.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, “I just really wanted to do that. Kissing your soulmate’s a big deal, you know?”

Peter feels a burst of confidence as he leans forward to kiss her and falls off the couch, toppling into her lap from his excitement. He doesn’t get a chance to be embarrassed about it, though; MJ just smirks and kisses him anyways, soft and nothing too heated, but just enough to make Peter’s heart thump.

“I’m glad you’re my soulmate, Peter.”

“Really?” Peter frowns, looking up at her. “I.. I know we don’t talk about it a lot. I didn’t want you to hate it, but I also don’t know what to say, and I don’t know what to think about it.”

MJ shrugs, her fingers taking to his hair. It’s a soft moment, something they never really had before, not at this level of intimacy, but it’s nice nonetheless. “I just like that it’s you,” she sighs. “I don’t need you to tell the world about me. I just need you to like me back, and that’s enough for me. You know?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Peter laughs for the first time in months. “Yeah. Okay.”

When Ned comes back, he says nothing.

One day he comes home and sees Sergeant Barnes struggling through security. It’s a new face; Peter tries not to cling to him but it’s so exciting to have another person around to talk to. He’s met him before, along with Steve and Peggy, and the other soul-bound couple, Sam and Sharon, but they don’t live at the tower. Nat’s the only one that still lives in the tower with them, so far, besides Bruce and sometimes Thor when he comes by. Rumor has it they’re preparing a room for Carol, which Peter’s excited about, but mostly because MJ thinks Carol’s the coolest.

Peter, being Peter, tries to lighten the situation. As they ride the elevator up, he talks happily about a therapy dog named Marshmallow, who is the cutest thing ever. It’s not untrue, but it’s the last bit of happiness that Peter feels he can cling to. Plus, everyone likes dogs. He’s sure that Sergeant Barnes will appreciate the story of Marshmallow.

“Maybe I can convince Tony to let us get a dog,” he says finally, trying to pull him into the conversation, too. “What do you think, Sergeant Barnes? Will you help me take care of it?”  
“Of course,” he answers with teary eyes.

Peter feels like it’s a very one-sided conversation, but he understands. It’s hard to hold back tears and put up a conversation at the same time. He looks at Bucky and sees a reflection of himself; it’s sad and messy, the picture of self-doubt and depression. “Uh, sir? Are you okay?”

Bucky nods and grins through all the tears. “I’m just… for the first time in a year, Peter, I’m really happy.”

Peter wants to cry at his answer but opts to hug him tight instead. Fuck. Peter wishes he could feel happy, too, at least enough to not be a shitty soulmate. No one else knows--Ned has to know, but Ned’s around them constantly. No adults or parents know, and it feels weird. He knows he’s a miserable little shit and that he should listen to Miss Y/N’s advice, but he’s already asked for so much. Asking for more help and accommodations would be far too much. 

He and Peter grow a little closer for the time being. Pete can tell that something bothers Sergeant Barnes, though. Peter comforts him, of course, looking up to him a little more than he should. Aunt Natasha’s on a trip and isn’t there to dote on him, which feels strange. This is another connection he can make, though. Peter just forces a soft smile and tells him, “That just means I can kidnap you and make you do a bunch of uncle-y duties.”

“I’d do that regardless,” Sergeant Barnes tries to tease.

Peter invites him to get ice cream with them, and after school, he, MJ and Ned walk out of the school fifteen minutes late with Miss Y/N by their side.

“I’m glad Marshmallow isn’t hurt,” Ned says, “thanks for letting us sit with her while you gathered your things!”

Peter feels relieved that the school day is over, and finally they can breathe again. He just wants to introduce his uncle to his best friend and his soulmate, and perhaps forget the embarrassing scene back there. Ned still thinks that Marshmallow was whimpering because she was hurt, not because Peter was having the panic attack of his life in. He sees Sergeant Barnes standing in front of his car, which was a generous gift from Mr. Stark, and Peter almost wants to smile. 

“I didn’t make anyone late, did I?” she asks gently, her eyes running over Peter. Making him uncomfortable is not the goal, but she knows how draining panic attacks can be. “I don’t drive, so if you guys need rides, I can’t offer them.”

“Nah,” MJ answers, “Peter’s uncle or whatever is taking us for ice cream, so he’ll be here.”

Marshmallow barks.

Miss Y/N pulls on the leash. “Hey, Mellie, shh!”

As the kids chorus about how cute Mellie is, the dog breaks free and rushes towards the car where Sergeant Barnes stands, jumping on him as an eager hello. Everything happens so fast. Miss Y/N is running to catch her but stops at the sight of him, and suddenly, she’s clinging to Sergeant Barnes as if her life depends on it, which Peter doesn’t understand at first. 

“Does this mean you’ll come get ice cream with us?” Ned mutters, to which MJ elbows him. 

Miss Y/N is revealed to be his soulmate, Peter doesn’t know what else to do. The ice cream trip feels like the last supper of their friendship. He doesn’t want to lose another uncle, though it won’t sting as much as the last few losses did, because, well, of course. Miss Y/N makes the sarge so happy though; they’re off being a couple and Peter’s lost the new uncle he was warming up to. It wasn’t much, but it was something. It really was.

Morgan turns one and Peter thinks he feels okay. MJ’s there with him, sitting so close, and he realizes that Morgan likes MJ. It’s a weird reassurance. Morgan babbles to MJ and squeals happily at her, and Peter finds himself calm. He knows MJ isn’t the biggest fan of babies, but she holds Morgan anyways and plays with her. Ned is a favorite of Morgan’s, too. When she gets fussy and Ned’s there, Ned will sing to her until she’s fine, and then they’re okay.

Even at their impromptu beach vacation, when Peter pulls MJ and Ned along, Ned pulls Peter aside. “Look,” he whispers, “you gotta take MJ for a walk.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s your soulmate, at beach walks are like, mad romantic.”

Peter just grins and shakes his head, but Ned tries to argue. “No,” Peter says quickly, “I will, I just… you’re a really good wing man, you know?”

Ned nods with a chuckle. “I’m the guy in the chair, my dude, of course I’m a good wingman. Okay, so here’s the plan--”

“But no one else knows.”

“Huh?”

“You’re the only one that knows MJ’s my soulmate,” Peter explains. “I don’t want anyone else teasing us or whatever right now. So I’m really banking on your plan.”

(Ned’s plan was a success, and Peter shared a very nice kiss on the shore with MJ.)

Then Bucky--because he tells Peter “no more of this Sergeant Barnes bullshit, buddy, just call me Bucky”--gets drunk at a gala and Y/N punches a guest for talking shit about him.

“You should have seen it,” Peter says into the phone, loosening his tie and kicking off his dress shoes. “Y/N just straight up decked him! It was great. I guess the one guy said something about Bucky, and she just socks him.”

“Shit,” MJ curses on the other end, enthralled in the story. “Was that the end of it?”

“No.”

“Then keep it coming, Parker.”

Peter smiles. “So, the dude doesn’t like what just happened and he punches Y/N back, right in the eye. Now she has a shiner.”

“Shiner? What are you, Parker, sixty?”

“Do you want the whole story, or what?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then listen up, buddy.”

“Don’t call me buddy, dude, we’re soul mates.”

“Then listen up, baby,” Peter challenges, but MJ doesn’t say anything back. “HA!” he snorts into the phone, “you liked that?”

“It’s nice,” MJ almost whispers. “But I will deny it if anyone else would ask.”

“Darlin’?”

“Hmm. I guess.”

“Honey?”

“Yes, dear?”

Peter laughs. “Okay. You know what? I’ll test out a bunch of nicknames.”

MJ nearly cuts him off, urgency in her voice. “Can we date?”

It takes him off guard. “Date?”

“Yeah. Like… nevermind, it was stupid. I gotta go--”

“No, no, M! Wait, I thought… I thought you wouldn’t want to?”

“I like the idea of dating you,” MJ says. “You’re my soulmate, Pete. I just. I. Fuck. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I should feel, and I don’t know if you’d even want me, or if its too soon, or if I’m just being stupid.”

“You could never.”

“Ha-ha.”

Peter shrugged off his suit jacket and sat on the end of his bed, appreciating the sound of her breathing through the phone speaker. “Hey, MJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Museum? Tomorrow at noon?”

He can almost hear the smile when she says, “I’d like that, Parker.”

When he comes back from his date, there’s a crowd in the kitchen and everyone’s yelling. Peter walks in in time for the pre-dinner shenanigans; he gets himself a cup for coffee that’s taken away by Pepper with a kiss to the forehead, but the argument he wants to start dies down once he sees why everyone’s so excited. Bucky proposed to Y/N. A modest engagement ring sits on her left hand and shines like crazy. Her black eye is nearly healed, but it doesn’t look like it bothers her anyway. She’s engaged to her soulmate and the happiest person in the room.

“Congrats!” Peter exclaims. “Dudes, I’m so happy for you both!”

Everyone’s happy. Even after the happy couple leaves the room, everyone else is all smiles. “Okay, we gotta plan the most kick ass wedding for them,” Tony says, bouncing Morgan on his hip. “They’re too sweet, they deserve a good party. Smaller and intimate’s their style, right?”

“That would be sweet,” Pepper agrees, “but we can’t just do everything ourselves and surprise them.”

“Why not?” Tony asks, almost a whine.

“Yeah, why not?” Sam echoes. “Money Bags has a point. I’m sure if you do that and ship them off to God-knows-where for a honeymoon, they wouldn’t argue. They’re sappy and just like each other too much.”

Sharon elbows him. “Too much? They’re soulmates.”

He shoots her a wounded look. “You pushed me off the couch because I said I would marry you once a year just to see you smile like that again.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s too much,” Sharon sighs, backtracking. “Maybe he has a point. They are very sappy with each other.”

Pepper takes Morgan from Tony’s arms and rolls her eyes. “Well, has she told her family yet?”

“Her family?” Steve echoes.

“I’m sure they’d be upset if their daughter’s wedding was a complete surprise to them, too. They’d want some sort of say in it.”

Everyone seems to pause. Y/N’s never mentioned her family to anyone, not even briefly or in passing. “I don’t know,” Peggy says, breaking the silence, “she didn’t say anything about her family.”

“But you two knew because of the fight,” Sam points out. “Didn’t you guys talk about it?”

Peggy hesitates. “We did,” she says finally, “but families were never mentioned. She asked me about my dream wedding and I said I’d have to find someone else to walk me down the aisle since Steve and I’ve both outlived our families, and she just… she didn’t say much about her family. She changed the subject and asked about flowers.”

It seems odd, but even Steve nods in agreement. “She asked me once if Bucky would expect to meet her parents and weird questions about family, but I didn’t think it was a weird situation. I just thought maybe her folks lived ways away and she was afraid to rush things.”

Tony purses his lips, but when Pepper doesn’t argue with his thinking face, he calls out, “FRIDAY, pull up Y/N’s file on her parents.”

“The file is empty, boss.”

“The file on her family in general?”

“Nothing, boss.”

Everyone looks around, waiting for something else to be said, but Peter just laughs and raises his arms as if in victory. “Woo! That’s two for team orphan!”

Tony smacks his hands down from the air. “No, nope, you still have a family and we’re all right here. As punishment, I want everyone to say why they love Peter.”

“What?” Peter groans. “Mr. Stark, no, that’s weird.”

“Oop, and we’re back to the formalities. Everyone has to talk for three minutes about why they love Peter. Except for Morgan, she has to talk to five to up the guilt factor.”

But really, no one can ignore the fact that Y/N’s family just doesn’t exist. Her file is slim and seems out of place for someone that is very passionate about their life and work. All they can figure out is that Y/N left home at seventeen and never went back, according to what FRIDAY could find. There was no Y/L/N family that could be found, and the group finds it weird.

“Is she who she says she is?” Sharon asks. “Are we sure we can trust her?”

“Is there anything that FRIDAY would have missed?” Nat is quick to add. “It wasn’t like you could pull up every file on me, either.”

“She’s who she says she is,” Tony assures with a spare glance. “She passes all background checks, she has no aliases, no outstanding charges or warrants, and she’s still Bucky’s soulmate. It’s just… there’s nothing about her family.”

Peter finds it odd, but he knows MJ would probably do the same thing. Her parents aren’t cruel but they are indifferent towards her. They don’t care what she does, as long as she tells them and as long as her grades are perfect. “I know they’re busy,” she said once, “but I just wish I had more… love? Is that gross to say?”

“They’re your family, they’re supposed to love you, M. It’s not weird or gross at all. But you’re always welcome here. Pepper gives great hugs.”

No one mentions the search for Y/N’s history and family, but they do hint towards wedding planning and who should be involved. It’s all fun until it dies down and then Tony’s in a mood. Peter gets it, sure; babies are a lot of work, of course, so it makes sense that Pepper and Tony are a bit more exhausted than normal. Morgan has been a bit fussy, so it all checks out. He says hello to Y/N, who stirs her coffee and wishes him a good morning too.

Bucky ruffles his hair and Peggy even makes an appearance, which makes Peter feel happy. He can’t place it. He’s used to being all alone in the tower other than Bucky, Y/N, and Nat. Steve’s making coffee for him and Peggy, and Sam’s shows up with Sharon. It’s an ideal morning, the whole team together, and Peter relishes in it before making himself something to eat. Part of him wants to ask Peggy if he can come over for dinner again, the same one as before, but the moment he opens his mouth, his spider sense goes off. Sam accidentally spills his coffee and Tony blows up about it.

“Another fucking baby,” Tony seethes, but Sam doesn’t respond because it’s not a big deal. He just apologizes as Tony keeps going. “Jesus fucking Christ. I can’t with you.”

Peter hates when he yells, but something in Y/N’s face changes more. Tony yells until Y/N staggers towards the garbage can with her lips shut tight, but she only makes it to the sink.

“Y/N?” Bucky calls after her, and suddenly all the attention is on her.

She leans over the sink and pukes, not that there’s much in her system anyways. Just coffee, maybe a bite of Bucky’s croissant, but it stings nonetheless. Bucky’s quick to grab her hair and hold it from her face, but the yelling stops. Tony’s face softens and Sam’s not rolling his eyes, brushing it off.

Tony says, “FRIDAY, scan for injuries.”

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks her, turning on the faucet.

Peggy brushes her hand against Peter’s shoulder. “Peter, darling, grab her a cup of water.”

“Dude what the hell happened?” Sam asks. “Was there something in the coffee?”

FRIDAY days, “No physical injuries. I believe this might have been stress-induced. She’s in distress and I would recommend taking her back to her quarters.”

Peter watches Y/N take the water shyly, but he also watches as she shies away from Tony. Sharon gives Bucky a spare hair tie for her but no one else says anything after FRIDAY. Stress-induced. The room’s quiet until the couple leaves and Peter finishes rinsing out the sink. No one sees Bucky and Y/N until it’s almost dinner time.

It’s a few days later when Bucky leaves with Steve and Sam for a mission. “More of a dude vacation,” Sam says, slapping Bucky on the shoulder as Nat walks around them, heading for the toaster. “C’mon, it’s like camping but there’s more at stake! It’ll be fun with the homies!”

Behind them, Nat butters a bagel and hands it off to Y/N, who quickly runs a lint roller over her jeans and does a silly pose in search of approval.

“You hang around Peter too much,” Steve says, making a face. “We’ll be back in a week or so.”

“Looks good,” Bucky and Nat tell Y/N at the same time. Nat just smirks and retreats, but Bucky pulls Y/N close. “I’ll be back. I have to hang out with my bros, as Peter would say.”

Through a mouthful of cereal, Peter says, “I would never say something like that, please let the record show.”

“Be safe,” Y/N tells him, and something in her eyes change. Her tone is soft and sincere, but her free hand is loose as it grips at the lapel of Bucky’s Jacket, then moves up his neck to cup the side of his jaw. “And you listen to Sam, you hear me? If you’re not back in one piece, I’m sleeping in Morgan’s room for a week.”

“I’ll be extra safe,” Bucky promises with a chaste kiss. “Peter, look out for my best girl, would ya?”

“What are we,” Nat asks, mock-hurt, “chopped liver?”

“Nah,” he says, pressing another kiss against Y/N’s cheek. “I just know Peter’s the best at safety.”

“That’s a lie,” almost everyone chimes in, which causes Peter to groan through another mouthful.

Bucky kisses Y/N with a final goodbye and walks out the door with the other two, but Peter keeps eating his cereal and mentally prepares for a day at school.

As Mellie finishes her breakfast--and begins to beg for a bite of Y/N’s bagel--Y/N straightens her blazer once more and looks to Nat for a thumbs up. It’s deemed thumbs-up worthy. It’s a fun routine the two started a while ago, but Pete isn’t always there to see it. He isn’t one to eat breakfast, but after Karen snitching on his health levels to Tony, breakfast is mandatory. “I’ll be done in two minutes, Pete,” she tells him, slipping her feet in her black high heels and breaking him out of his trance. “I’m working in your school today so I can give you a ride if you want.”

Pete agrees, but he doesn’t take his normal morning routine into account. How could he? He’s in the passenger seat of Y/N’s new Lexus, a generous “engagement gift,” as Tony called it, singing at the top of his lungs to whatever song she plays. They talk, Mellie barks to join in, and life is good. Calm, happy, domestic. For once Peter isn’t feeling sad or guilty about his own feelings. 

In the parking lot, as Y/N closes the door behind Mellie, Peter finds himself lingering behind wind a wandering mind. Mellie barks at him to catch up as she trots ahead and pulls Y/N despite all commands to slow down and stay calm.

It’s a good morning until Flash and his buddies appear seemingly out of nowhere for a laugh and a taunt. “Good morning, Penis,” Flash greets with a grin. “Following Miss Y/N? Isn’t that kinda weird?”

Oh, yeah. He forgot about this constant in his life. How could he, though? Flash is constantly up his ass before they step into school, reminding him how unwanted he is. “Is this what constitutes a good morning?” Peter responds.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was an interview.”

“You asked a question first.”

Flash grows tired of the smart answers quickly. “I don’t need to take shit from an orphan,” he says cooly, as if he isn’t being cruel. “I just think it’s weird you’re following Miss Y/N around. Looking for a date, or are you that desperate to replace your dead aunt?”

“You’re not funny,” Peter scoffs, biting back the hurt he felt. “Can’t you just leave me alone?”

But it’s too late, because Y/N whips around with wide eyes. “Eugene,” she snaps, “what the hell is your problem?”

He asks as if he’s done nothing wrong. “Peter was following you,” Flash explains calmly, “I just thought it was weird and asked him about it. He’s been weird with women ever since his aunt died.”

Y/N points an angry finger in his direction that takes him back, as it does with all of his friends. “Don’t talk to him like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like he’s useless.”

“Isn’t he though?”

Y/N doesn’t like that response. “You talk about my nephew like that again and I can promise you, your daddy’s gonna have to find better lawyers,” she says lowly. “Do I make myself clear, Eugene?”

Flash doesn’t respond to the threat or the tone, too stunned and afraid to form any word. Y/N grabs Peter’s hand tightly in hers, but Peter doesn’t like that she can feel him shake. He tries so hard to be strong, to not give a shit about what Flash has to say, but at the end of the day, he’s right. Peter is alone. He’s lost his parents, his aunt, his uncle, and now he’s with a loaner family. Nobody cares about little Peter Parker.

But now, as Peter feels his legs moving and watches as Y/N guides him into the school with Mellie trotting along with them, he feels something in his heart swell. Y/N is in his corner. Not only that, but Y/N just proclaimed herself as his aunt. You talk about my nephew like that again…. He grins through the tears that prick at his waterline and lets Y/N lead him to MJ’s locker, where she and Ned wait.

School flies by without other interferences, and Y/N offers Peter and his friends a ride. “Are you sure, Miss Y/N?” Ned asks. “It’s out of the way, I’m okay to take the subway.”

“Nah,” Y/N says, already opening the door. “Mellie gets the middle, though, so bookbags on the floor or your lap.”

It’s all fun and games until they drop Ned off, and then MJ--who pecks Peter’s cheek quickly before rushing out. The car grows too quiet for his liking. “Are we going to tell Tony about today?” she asks softly.

Peter thinks about it, honestly considers it, but Tony’s busy with the company and stressed about Morgan. Why should he get any of his attention? Peter knows he’s just the spare child, the unwanted one, and he doesn’t want to push his luck. “No,” Peter replies, just as soft in tone. “You handled it pretty well, and all that’s going to do is start a problem.”

“You’re not a problem, Peter.”

“I know.” He doesn’t. “But I’m okay--it’s okay. I promise.”

After homework and a weird silence from Tony, who usually always asks about his day, Peter declines Aunt Y/N’s invite for a movie and finds himself grabbing his suit. 

Peter gets hurt on patrol but there’s no one he can think to call. He knows, realistically, he should call Tony or Pepper, his literal, legal guardians, but guilt creeps in when he realizes how tired they are because of Morgan, and he sits in the alleyway for another moment before swinging home. Even after he changes into pajamas and sits on the edge of his bed, he feels dead. Something isn’t right, but he doesn’t know what it could be.

“Peter,” FRIDAY says, “you’re in shock and you’re bleeding. If you don’t report to an adult that is able to do stitches, I must alert Mr. or Mrs. Stark.”

“Which adults are able to do stitches?” Peter asks, trembling.

“Dr. Banner is in his lab, Mr. Stark is in his quarters, Director Carter is with Agent Romanoff in the gym, Dr. Cho is in the medbay finishing up, and Miss Y/L/N is in the kitchen.”

Peter blinks. “Y/N can do stitches?”

“Yes,” FRIDAY responds, “though I don’t believe she has training. She is self-taught but her skill compares to the others. She does well enough to be listed with confidence, Peter. Should I tell her you’re on your way?”

“No,” Peter huffs, standing with a wince. “I’ll go see her.”

Just like FRIDAY said, Y/N is in the kitchen, standing over a bowl and staring blankly at the wall. She stands in a pair of jeans and Bucky’s red henley, sliding off her one shoulder because it’s too big for her. It’s a source of comfort for her, though. Even now, with pieces of her hair pulled back, she looks comfortable and lost in thought. Mellie sits beside her and leans against her leg, comforting. It’s such a domestic picture that Peter almost feels guilty.

“Y/N?” Peter whispers, breaking her from her trance.

Y/N turns her head to look at the intruder like Mellie does and softens to see it’s Peter, but her face twists in displease again once she sees the red stain on Pete’s shirt. “Peter,” Y/N yelps, scrambling towards the boy with the dog on her heels, “what the fuck happened?”

“I went out on patrol,” he tries to explain, his head swimming.

Y/N grabs his arm and lifts the bloody shirt up to expose the wound. “Peter,” she says, “this is so bad, honey.” Mellie barks once, but Y/N looks at her once and it’s enough to quiet her down.

“It’s not too deep, I didn’t even notice it until I came home. I think my sheets might be stained, though.”

The face stays put despite the reassurance. Mellie, too, seems unhappy, but more towards Y/N. “Not again. I can’t do this again.”

Peter wanted to ask what she meant by again. Again? Not again? His mouth is open slightly but no words come out. The only thing Peter can do is feel pain and watch as tears swell in Y/N’s eyes. She’s never cried like this, except for the time she joined the trio and Bucky for ice cream. Even Mellie seemed freaked out at her tears, like she does right now, peering up at her with a whine stuck in her throat.

“I’m taking you to Dr. Cho.”

Peter tries to pull away and say no, but as soon as Peter shows signs of uncooperation, Y/N swings him into her arms and marches to the elevator, ordering FRIDAY to take them to medbay. Mellie is alert the whole time, still holding on to a whine that won’t die down. This isn’t a familiar situation to him, but Mellie seems to understand what’s happening.

“Y/N?” Dr. Cho calls out. “FRIDAY said you were in distress. Are you--is Peter okay?”

“There’s so much blood,” Y/N says in a small voice. Finally, Mellie lets out a longer whine. It’s louder, and for the first time Dr. Cho realizes Peter may not be the only one with an injury. Y/N’s a zombie as she carries Peter with shaky arms. They follow Dr. Cho to a room and Peter’s set on the reclining table, ripping his shirt over his head and discarding it in the corner. 

“You can have a seat over here,” Dr. Cho says with a gesture as she begins to lay out the tools.

She doesn’t. She stands as Mellie whines at her feet, but her eyes ever shrink. He’s okay right now. He’s literally under doctor’s care, but it’s not enough for her. Peter watches as Dr. Cho begins to work, but Y/N begins to pace, trembling as she goes. Mellie tries too but gives up after a few turns, as Y/N’s too clumsy and spontaneous to keep up with. The sound of Dr. Cho’s voice does nothing to soothe her or Peter, but Mellie takes slight comfort in it and finds herself by Dr. Cho’s feet, despite the previous distaste of a dog being in the same room. Peter wants to say something to her. He didn’t mean to scare her; she’s crying and wiping her tears with the occasional sniffle, barely looking up, not even when Dr. Cho announces she’s done.

“He’s okay,” she tells Y/N, glancing at the worried dog by her own feet. “Y/N? Would you please come look at the kid?”

“There’s too much blood.”

“There’s no more blood,” she assures. “I took care of it. I promise there’s no more blood.”

The night ends in tears for everyone, with Peter finally telling Y/N that he’s Spider-Man and Y/N holding Peter close while crying into his hair. Mellie trails behind them almost sadly as they make their way to Peter’s room. Waiting for them is a blood stain, not too big, on the edge of his bed. Y/N is quick to clean it up and rushes to treat it with salt water in the sink no matter how hard Peter tells him they’ll worry about it in the morning.

“It’ll be harder in the morning,” she says lifelessly, intently scrubbing at it. “We’ll fix it now. No problems. We’ll be fine if we just fix it now.”

They both fall asleep in his room that night. Peter’s in bed while Y/N’s asleep in the chair, bent forward onto the mattress beside him, using her folded arms as a pillow.

When he wakes up, he sits for just a moment. There’s so much dried makeup on her face, not that she wears a lot. Mostly mascara is running down her face, black and gray and streaky, some of it on her arms. It’s not even the worst part. All he could think about was the way she sobbed around him and the quick instincts over an injury. Something happened. Peter fears the worst.

“I’m sorry for reacting how I did,” Y/N tells him over breakfast. It’s early so no one should be coming down quite yet, perfect for a private talk. They have the kitchen to themselves for the time being. “I saw you and I freaked out. I didn’t mean to upset you, Peter, I’m really sorry.”

Peter shakes his head, and for once, manages to look at her instead of the food they prepared together in almost complete silence. “I’m not upset by it, I promise. I mean, not for the reasons you probably think. I just… are you okay?”

Y/N blinks, once, twice. “Am I… okay?”

“Yeah,” he manages lamely. “I’m more worried about you. You instantly went into this weird protective mode, and it seemed like you’ve done it before.”

She tries to brush it off and change the subject, but Peter draws it right back in. “Aunt Y/N,” he says quietly, “you told me that I shouldn’t hold anything in. That I should talk about things before I spiral. And I did. Or, well, I’m getting better at it. Be honest. Are you okay? I won’t come to you anymore if it upsets you, I know it’s a lot.”

Y/N sniffles, but despite the tears, she looks at him with a smile. “Don’t say that,” she croaks, “you can always come to me. It makes me happy that you trust me, it’s just…”

“Just?” Peter prompts.

“My sister and I used to be pushed around,” she explains. “We were yelled at. Hit, whatever. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore because I’ve worked through it, but with Bucky gone I’m on the edge and with Tony’s temper so bad… I feel like I’m back there sometimes.”

“Back where?”

She huffs a wet, sad laugh. “My childhood home.”

Peter blinks. What do you do when your aunt tells you she was abused? It suddenly makes sense why there were no files on her family. The worst had happened to her; she wasn’t an orphan like in Peter’s case, but a runaway from a family. Shit. FRIDAY said Y/N left her family at aged seventeen, and while the story isn’t fully known, it’s becoming clearer for Peter.

He reaches for her hand and winces when she gasps--but neither of them pull away. “I’m sorry, Pete,” she sighs. “I’m over it, I know I am. I just… you looked at me like she used to after dad would lash her for something.”

“It doesn’t sound like you’re over it,” Peter blurts out. He instantly regrets his poor word choice, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

Y/N squeezes his hand. “You may get over things, but you never truly forget them.” She looks up at him for a moment, then back down at her hands. “I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you, buddy. But this stays between us, nobody knows about it, not even Bucky.”

“But he’s your soulmate,” Peter reasons. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

Y/N shrugs. “Because I’m over it.”

“Shouldn’t he still know?”

She shrugs again, and nothing else is said.

The next day is a little more productive. The day after, though, is hard. Y/N doesn’t talk much until Pepper asks her to hold Morgan, and suddenly, she’s cheerful again. The following day is a set back for sure, as Tony’s in another mood, which leaves Y/N walking on pins and needles, but she’s quiet and slow around the kitchen so nothing can go wrong. Pepper sits at the table with Morgan, almost helping her nerves. Tony wouldn’t lash out around his family, would he?

“Morning, Morgan,” Y/N says softly, kissing her forehead. “Eating good this morning?”

“Always,” Pepper says, smiling up at her. “Huh, Mo? Tell Y/N that you got your very own smoothie bowl because you won’t eat yogurt unless there’s fruit in it.”

“Are you being a butt?” Y/N coos. “Who doesn’t like yogurt?”

“Pete’s the same way,” Tony cuts in, glancing up from his phone. “I guess none of the kids like yogurt unless there’s something in it, which I don’t blame them. Yogurt’s nasty.”

As if on cue, Peter shuffles into the kitchen and offers a smile. Peggy sits at the island with her cup of coffee and Sharon stands at the keurig, waiting with her bottle of creamer. Nat isn’t usually with them on Fridays, since those are her personal days, as she calls them, but she sits between Pepper and Peggy as she eats her very own smoothie bowl. “Morning, Pete,” Sharon greets, and Y/N echoes her.

“How are you feeling?” Peggy asks. “You seemed a bit sore yesterday.”

“Pretty good,” he says, and because he can’t lie to her or keep anything from her, “my side’s fully healed so I can get the stitches out today.”

Tony sets his phone down, face-down, and everyone can tell he isn’t happy. “What stitches?” he asks calmly, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Oh.” He glances at Y/N but doesn’t linger too long, just enough to read her face. “I was hurt on patrol and Aunt Y/N took me to Dr. Cho.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“FRIDAY said Aunt Y/N has enough skill to do my stitches, so she didn’t need to contact you.”

“So you patched up my kid and didn’t feel the need to tell me?” Tony demands, narrowing his eyes at Y/N.

“I didn’t do anything other than take him down to Cho,” Y/N reasons, finding it hard to meet his gaze. 

The others were calm about it, too, not bothering to step in, maybe out of fear of further disrupting the peace. Peter glances up every so often to look at Tony, but Sharon mixes her coffee. Peggy’s listening with the mug still in her hands. Pepper doesn’t say anything either—she just takes the spoon from Morgan’s hand and uses it to gather the extra yogurt from around her face before letting her feed herself again. Something doesn’t sit too well, but nothing’s wrong yet. 

“You’re missing the point,” Tony says, his voice getting sharper. “He’s my kid. My responsibility, and Pepper’s, too. If there’s something wrong don’t you think we should know?”

“Everything was taken care of, I didn’t think to bother you. I thought FRIDAY would have.”

“You’re missing the fucking point,” he repeats, angry.

She doesn’t get a chance to reply. “Don’t yell at her,” Peter shouts, and everyone’s taken off guard. Peter never talks back to an adult, especially not Tony or Pepper. While he’s polite but loving, enough to stand up to anyone, he never finds himself being mouthy—not even to aunts and uncles, not to Peggy, not even to Y/N, who is newer to the family. Even Nat lets her spoon rest against the bowl with a soft clink, the situation gaining her full attention. 

“I’m not yelling,” Tony snaps, “you stay out of this. You know you’re supposed to wake me up when something happens! And you were out late, no big surprise.”

“Stop,” Peter orders. “Calm down and then we’ll talk.”

“I’m the adult, Peter, you don’t tell me what to do.”

“You’re practically screaming,” Peter points out, stepping between Tony and Y/N. “Stop.”

“Peter—”

“Stop.”

“—listen to me—”

“Stop.”

“—I’m trying to—”

“Stop!”

“Dammit Pete!”

Fear rises as Tony gets angry enough to raise his hands. Both of them, two, in an angry gesture. He would never hit Peter—his father was unkind but he swore to be better. To Y/N, though, it’s a threat, and her body goes cold. She grabs Peter by the arm and pulls him to her, a tight embrace, while she turns so her back faces Tony. Her breathing grows ragged, shoulders shaking—is this it?

Sharon is up quickly to push Tony back and Peggy wastes no time making her way to Y/N.

Y/N can taste her own blood from how hard she bites down on her tongue. If she wasn’t breathing so hard, she would ask Peter if he’s okay. Instead, he remains in her arms, protected by her. Any strike of her father’s cane would lash her back instead of him, and Peter will be safe.

“What?” Tony barks. “What the fuck is the problem now?”

FRIDAY chimes though before anyone can begin. “It appears Miss Y/N is in distress,” the AI states, “I would recommend escorting her back to her quarters before the situation escalates.”

Peter’s whispering something but all Y/N can hear is the way Tony argues. Is she twelve, shielding her baby sister, or is she a grown woman, in a tower in New York? Is she going to feel something strike her back, or is she going to turn around and see a friend? The possibility of an overreaction scares her. She was supposed to have everything under control, but after Peter’s injury when he approached her in the kitchen, she’s on edge. She loves Peter, the boy that calls her Aunt Y/N and makes her feel like she’s truly part of the family, one that actually wants her and wouldn’t hurt her.

Peggy’s hand touches her shoulder, and Y/N crumbles. “Please don’t hurt him,” she croaks, squeezing Peter tighter. “Don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him, don’t hurt--”

“She’s having a panic attack,” FRIDAY announces unhelpfully. “Should I get Sarge on the phone?”

Peggy presses her lips to Y/N forehead, a gesture that makes her gasp and pull Peter closer. Forehead kisses were a half assed apology that she wasn’t interested in accepting. She just wants to be safe, to breathe, but it’s hard.

“Why do we need to call Barnes?” Tony asks, not as angry as before but still holding a bite in his tone. “Everything’s fine! What the fuck is going on?”

Pepper’s quick to snap, “Tony,” in a warning tone.

“Sit down,” Nat orders him.

“It’s not your tower.”

“You’re freaking her out,” Nat hisses. “This is just like last time. Sit your ass down before I make you.”

“You--”

“Sit down,” Pepper repeats, her tone just as cruel. “Can I trust you to sit with Morgan, or are you going to snap at her, too?”

Y/N feels her blood run cold and her body twists around desperately, still holding Peter in a tight grip. “Don’t hurt the baby,” she begs with a sob. Everyone can see her now, the pitiful sight of tears and trembles all because of some yelling. “Please don’t hurt her, please, please, don’t hurt the baby.”

Tony’s face softens. Sharon pushes him back, Nat stands between him and Y/N, and Pepper is standing beside Morgan’s high chair, watching everything go down. Even Morgan twists around to watch the group stand in silence and watch as Y/N cries.

Something happened. It’s all anyone can think at this moment, unsure of what to do. Peter tries to pull back but Y/N holds on to him tighter, shaking with each breath she took. She can feel that she’s overreacting but she isn’t sure of what to say, or even how to breathe, and the idea of walking away and leaving Morgan in the same room as Tony is painful but she can’t exactly just take a baby--

“Breathe,” Peggy tries to urge her, standing in front of her as to block Tony from her sight. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. He’s not gonna hurt anybody, he was just upset.”

Tony tries to speak up again, but Pepper and Nat keep him quiet. It takes ten minutes to convince Y/N to let go of Peter, but it takes Tony’s absence twenty minutes later for her to completely break.

No one sees Y/N for two days. She takes a sick day from work, and then it’s Saturday, so no one really says anything other than their concerns. Morgan whines for her aunt while Peter feels guilty. The kitchen feels stuffy and he doesn’t want to be in there, not when his aunt is shutting everyone out.

He talks to MJ about it, but not over the phone. He swings to her house and climbs through her window before pulling her into a hug and crying into her hair. They eventually switch positions and he finds himself being the little spoon.

“She was so afraid,” Peter croaks. “She was shaking and begging Tony not to hurt me and Morgan.”

MJ ran her hands through Peter’s hair, a comforting act, as he lay against her chest. “Does Stark ever… hit you?”

“Never. He’s never been like that, which makes it scarier.” He sighed, closing his eyes as he replayed the whole situation out. “I just… she’s been hit. She told me. And Stark just raised his voice enough that she thought she was back home. It didn’t help that she had to take me to the medbay for a stab wound, either.”

“You dumbass.”

“Ha-ha,” he says in a monotone voice.

MJ hums. “She just needs Bucky.”

“But it’s my fault.”

“She just needs some comfort. And her soulmate can provide that.” She pauses, but finds herself continuing in a lower voice. “Just like when I have a bad day. I like getting hugs from you.”

“You can always have a hug.”

“I just don’t always wanna bother you for a hug.”

“You ever bother me,” he says with a lazy grin, though she can’t see how happy he looks because of her confession. “I love to give hugs, especially to my soulmate. Makes them special.”

He gets home late but Bucky, Steve, and Sam aren’t too far behind. Dinner’s served as they walk through the door, Sam whining about the long debrief and the longing for a shower. “I could use one, too,” Bucky groans, “Fury’s a dick, you know that? We could have totally showered and then debriefed.”

Peter shoots up at the sound of his voice. “Uncle Bucky!” he yelps, tripping over his own feet. He scrambles towards his uncles with such force that it nearly shook the table. “We have to go,” he says quickly, “c’mon.”

Everyone else knows what he means. Sam and Steve stare in confusion, but their soulmates quickly grab their attention, as Bucky rolls his eyes and moves slowly, following Peter. “Okay, kid, can’t this wait? I have a long shower calling my name.”

Peter shakes his head almost violently. “No, we have to go now. Right now.”

Peggy tries to hide a frown. “Pete…”

“Right now,” Peter repeats. He practically pulls him to the elevator, and once it closes and heads towards their floor, Peter breaks.

“Kid,” Bucky says in a hushed tone, more concerned than anything.

He never gets a chance to finish. Peter cries. Actual tears come from his eyes and his breathing picks up, but he talks right through it. “I tried bringing her food and water, but she denied a lot of it a-and I had FRIDAY set some alarms for her b-but nothing really worked out, she’s ignoring me, and I don’t blame her, but after she freaked out—“

“Calm down,” Bucky commands. “Pete, what’s going on?”

Peter sucks in a shaky breath. “I freaked her out after patrol, and I think I triggered something. She told me not to tell you but she’s really on edge about it.”

“What happened?”

Peter explains the best he can, and watches Bucky disappear towards their room once the elevator doors open. He feels terrible, like he just started a problem in their relationship, and he wishes he was back at MJ’s all over again.

He sits in the elevator, curiosity getting the best of him, and waits. If he’s quiet he can hear the conversation. Eavesdropping isn’t something he’s a fan of—he’s not rude like that, no, Aunt May raised him better than that. But he hears the door open and Bucky’s soft, “Y/N? Doll?”

The bed creaks and Y/N’s breathing is calm. “Bucky?”

“Hey. Pete’s worried about ya. Haven’t seen ya in a bit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he coos, “how are you feeling?”

She sighs, but her heart rate picks up a bit more. “I messed up, Bucky, I really did. I royally fucked up.”

“What happened?”

“Peter freaked me out. Scared the shit out of me, I thought he was dying. He was stabbed and I panicked about it.”

Bucky pauses, and Peter could hear him swallow. “Honey, that’s normal. The kid was stabbed—he’s… oh, uh, did he…. did he tell you—“

“He told me he’s Spider-Man,” she finishes. “I just never thought I’d have to watch Peter bleed like that in front of me, and he was so casual about it. It was like nothing happened. And I couldn’t breathe, Bucky, all I could see was my sister, a-and… fuck. I can’t do this. I can’t be broken about it again.”

“Calm down, tell me what happened, baby. We’ll take it slow. One thing at a time.”

“I don’t know how.” Y/N sounds so small. “I had everything under control and then Peter’s hurt so now I just feel… empty. I thought Tony was going to hit him.”

“What?”

“Tony was just so angry, and he was yelling, and Peter told him to be quiet but I thought he wasn’t gonna hit him, and I just lost it.”

“Have you… been hit? Before?”

Peter realizes that Bucky’s walking blindly into this, out of concern and based off of what Peter said. “It’s so much more complicated than that.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, Bucky, I--”

“It’s okay,” Bucky is quick to tell her, “don’t apologize. I know what it’s like to hold on to a secret like this, doll, I’m not upset.”

Things are silent other than their heartbeats for a moment, just before Y/N sniffles. “I taught myself how to do stitches because I kept getting hurt,” Y/N whispers suddenly. “I didn’t have a car until Tony gave me the Lexus because I got into a car accident trying to escape. My sister didn’t make it, I ran away and finished high school while I lived with a friend, I--”

“Shh,” Bucky urges, his voice muffled. Peter thinks he’s pressing his face into her hair, or hugging her close. “Take a deep breath. I got you, I’m not letting you go.”

She complies, letting out a shaky breath before stating, “I love Peter. I love being an aunt, he’s an amazing kid. I just saw so much love in his eyes that I panicked and thought he was going to be hurt, just like…”

“It’s okay,” Bucky urges.

Y/N sniffles again. “I know. We’re okay.”

Peter almost smiles at the optimism. His lips jerk up in the corners briefly as he stands in the elevator, fingers hovering over the buttons. Maybe he’ll be okay, too. Maybe he’ll figure out how to feel human without carrying everyone’s problems on his shoulders. Thoughts run wild as he presses the button to return to the team kitchen to finish dinner.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying as he walks in until Peggy looks up with raised eyebrows. “Peter? Are you alright, darling?”

Peter nods and smiles through the tears. “Yeah, Aunt Peggy, I’m okay.” It isn’t until he sits down and dinner conversation continues to buzz around him that Peter decides to tell the truth. “Actually,” he says, interrupting all conversation. Everyone raises their heads to look over at him and quiets down. “I don’t think I’m okay. And I don’t wanna lie anymore.”

Next week, Peter gets a therapist. His name is Luc and he likes Star Wars, too. He’s a bit younger, but he’s married and is a big fan of background music as they talk.

The following week, Peter introduces MJ as his soulmate. “Kid,” Tony says as he walks in with Nat and an armful of pizzas, “I thought you said you were finally letting us meet your soulmate.”

He can almost still hear the teasing he received when he admitted he found his soulmate already. “Yeah,” Peter says with Morgan on his hip, “I know. And I am.”

Everything clicks at the same time for everyone. “Dude!” Sam yells first. “I’m so happy for you! MJ, good luck with the dweeb.”

“He’s a great dweeb, though,” MJ tells him. “I’m happy.”

“How long have you been hiding this?”

“May knew,” Peter says softly. “Two months before, um.”

“Oh, kid.”

“It’s okay,” Peter backtracks quickly. “I’m happy she knew. She was the first to know. Ned was second.”

Sharon snorts. “Ned knew? Kid, what the hell, Ned couldn’t have known, he’s so bad at keeping secrets!”

MJ shrugs, but she can’t help the small smile that forms. “It wasn’t really a secret,” she informs, “just… not something we wanted to fuss over. Peter was going through some stuff. The teasing would have been too much.”

Y/N grabs Peter’s face and presses a kiss to his forehead. “I’m happy for you, Petey,” she tells him sincerely. Peter feels so loved just by her tone itself. She’s almost proud when she speaks about it. “Should I be fair and give MJ the shovel talk?”

“Hey, that’s my job,” Tony shouts, which gets Peggy, Sam, and Nat to argue back.

Y/N shakes her head. “Nah, Tones, you get everything else. You gotta let me have at least this one.”

“That’s fair.”

Morgan, feeling left out, shimmies closer to Peter as he holds her and grabs his face like Y/N did, kissing him as high as she could reach, which ended up being his eye. “Lub you, Pe’ey!” she announces proudly.

It’s another thing that everyone loses their minds over.

A few more weeks later, Peter has a bad day. He sits on the balcony and cries silent tears, ignoring FRIDAY’s pleas for him to go back to bed. He should--the dark sky, however, holds his attention all too well. Cars bustle softly down below him, under the pale light that shines so far below. It all makes his senses numb; he dissociates long enough that he doesn’t notice his Aunt Y/N came to check on him until he feels a wet nose on the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Peter mumbles, wiping his dry eyes to make them sting less. “I’m okay. I’m okay, I really am.”

“I know you are,” Y/N says softly as she lowers herself to sit next to him. Mellie pants and circles before snuggling in between them, resting her head on Peter’s lap. “But,” she starts, “it’s okay if you’re not.”

“I don’t want to stress you out anymore.”

Y/N hesitates, which Peter sees. Of course he’s being foolish. Y/N has bags under her eyes, but not from her usual mental exhaustion. After taking on a full time job at the school, she’s had more work to do, not that she minds. Mellie is getting older, too, so that’s stressing her out even more. Peter doesn’t want to be an added burden on top of everything.

“I’ll always worry about you, Peter,” she points out firmly. There’s no questioning it, either. “Peter, I know we didn’t talk about that, and I’m so sorry for how I made you feel. That wasn’t healthy for either of us, and I’m not going to let that happen again.”

He winces. The dreaded… outburst, they’ll call it. The whole team found out about Y/N’s childhood. She apologized for days, possibly even weeks, but all the team wanted was an explanation. They were given one, too. Peter may have had it rough, but Y/N childhood was worse. (Luc later told him trauma wasn’t a competition, and Peter didn’t think like that anymore. Luc made sure of it, if nothing else.) Y/N still wasn’t convinced she should have been sad, though.

“But--”

“But,” Y/N echoes as she cuts him off, “you’re my nephew. I care about you. Regardless of what I feel like, or what I’m thinking about, I will always have you and Morgan in mind. I’ll care about Ned and MJ, too.”

Peter shakes his head. His neck is stiff. The motion feels a bit uncomfortable, but that’s his own fault for sitting so still for so long. (He’ll make FRIDAY give him the duration later.) “I don’t want to stress you out, and I don’t want you to think about that again.”

“I admitted I had a problem,” she says. “I started seeing a therapist.”

“I’m sorry.”

The apology goes ignored, as usual. “It’s not because of you, Pete,” she tells him softly, almost lost in the sound of a distant car horn. “Well, not in the way you think.”

“Huh?”

She nudges his shoulder with hers. “I meant what I said. I care about you, Pete. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me, okay? You’re always gonna be my little nephew, and I’m always gonna be here for you. I’m not putting more of the world on your shoulders. That being said, I am so fucking proud of you for admitting you needed help.”

Peter takes in her words, and really absorbs them. He matters. He matters so much to Y/N that he made an aunt out of her--and now she’s proud of him. “Thank you for being there for me,” he murmurs. “I love you, Aunt Y/N.”

Y/N ruffles his hair. “Love you too, kiddo. Now how about we head back to bed?”

“Just a few more minutes,” Peter says, resting his hand on Mellie’s head. “I like sitting with you when my friends aren’t here to steal you away.”

“Or Morgan,” she adds with a laugh. “But to be fair, Morgan takes everyone’s attention.”

They laugh, but once it fades out, the aunt and nephew duo sit in silence and admire the night sky. His phone buzzes with a text from MJ, but he decides it can wait five minutes. After all, Peter has all the time in the world, or at least, it feels like that when he doesn’t feel so overwhelmed or miserable. Depression sucks, but he’s working on it. Right now, it’s barely even a thought in the back of his mind, which is a huge step up from how he was feeling earlier this evening when he first came outside. He’s enjoying the quality time with his aunt, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I also post on my tumblr, come say hi @mareli-carter
> 
> Aaaand, I take requests :)


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